Kajillionaire (2020)

This. Was. Hard. To. Watch.
Maybe even harder than The Killing of a Sacred Deer.
Because there is no real healing or redemption for what was done to Old Dolio.
Yes, there is a “happy ending” but the movie had to end some time and the director kept building towards that ending.

A sociopathic family (maybe echoing the star’s family of showbiz parents and brothers, sisters) stunts, abuses, and raises Old Dolio for their constant scams and schemes. She is broken.
It’s a claustrophobic family of users indoctrinating her into loserdom.

She is their trained dog, their little Bonsai tree, their little meal ticket. One is unsure if she is actually their child as she is strictly child labour, and she is never made to forget it. I’m surprised they hadn’t sold her to a middle class man to permanently drain her.

The parents are supreme parasites and users. The father looks at his reflection, and says, “I look like a senator”. I agree. Politics are where his true talents lie.

The film is about dysfunctional families.
Every family depicted is broken.
The old woman whose husband is dead, and her children are far away. The old man waiting to die. Alone. (Is he a good father? We don’t know). Still speaking up for his brood while dying.

The usual director tricks are used: she looks like crap with the parents draining the life from her: stringy hair, muted colour palette, hunched over. After taking off Melanie’s fake nails, her first real human connection, there is more colour, a little lipstick, her hair looks better - she looks brighter and more alive.

Old Dolio is taken from the Greek word for slave, douli. And she is a slave. Oddly, I don’t think the ending is as happy as it seems…she still lacks agency and has just enough willpower to choose a new master. She is really an empty vessel.

And this is my problem with the film.
The androgynous deep voiced Evan Rachel Wood should not have been used.
Too old. Great acting but too old.
A younger fresher actress leaving the parents for Melanie works better for the audience. Perhaps this is why the IMDB ratings are so low.
I give it a 8.5 or 9…yet never ever want to see it again.

as a Tranny Appreciator i didn’t have a problem with this :slight_smile:

also i didn’t realize she used to date Marilyn Manson

i have been to a Marilyn Manson concert … almost went deaf … had to plug my ears with chewing gum … i was almost against the fence, there was just a girl in front of me and then the fence … her BF wasn’t happy about it but he was a bitch and couldn’t do shit … she didn’t mind …

if she said anything i would have moved and let her get crushed by the crowd … but she wasn’t stupid and didn’t complain … i was actually holding on to the fence and the crowd was pressed against my back and the girl was between my arms … i was the only thing preventing her from getting crushed but obviously her BF didn’t care about that - he was pissed some other guy was protecting “his” girl and she didn’t mind it - so the entire time he was trying to dig his elbow into my hand on the rail of the fence hoping i will surrender his GF to him but i simply ignored it. she was only his GF in his own mind …

i wasn’t actually pressing my dick against her ass it was more of a mind game. all 3 of us were thinking about it without anybody saying a word. there was still space between her and the fence though ( 2 or 3 inches ) which probably only drove her BF more mad …

anyway sorry for going off topic but it was an interesting experience. well worth whatever i paid for the ticket. my friend also spat at Manson and Manson spat back at him. LOL

Good Times … i don’t think i could do it today - it was quite physically challenging to hold off that crowd on my back for quite an extended period of time … but i saw it as a welcome physical challenge. i also saw the guy elbowing my hand as a sort of a stoic challenge too. i just had a great time. music was great too :slight_smile:

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sorry i went off topic but i’m late to gym no time to think now.

i’m watching Buffalo '66 right now:

which is another movie you might be interested in but i’m only 1/3 of the way in …


Too damn old! The tranny part was the least of it.
I suppose more gender inversion was at work: the “male” was helpless and needed to be led by the “female”.

i don’t get it …

“Lolita” was clearly told from the perspective of Irons, so if his love interest was played by an actress over the age of 30 then yes she would be “too old” …

but in “Kajillionaire” she is the protagonist … so what difference does it make how old she is ? was Irons “too old” for you ?

i suppose if we accept that the mixed-race girl is the protagonist i could see how “Old Dolio” is too old …

anyway i’m back from the gym. i hope after unpacking my bags i can come up with some commentary on the film before it gets dark …

when i was about 7 years old or so i asked my grandma why my parents torture me and she replied that when you grow up you will have your own kids and torture them …

that never quite sat right with me but unfortunately that’s how it works …

we torture children to feel better about the torture we ourselves endured at the hands of our parents …

we need to convince ourselves that what we endured was “parenting” and not torture and the only way to do so is get kids of our own, torture them and tell them we are “parenting” …

all families are like that. all parents teach children what is important to parents. no parent ever says “everything i know is shit and i will not poison my children with it” … instead every parent teaches children that all other parents are wrong and only he / she ( your parent ) is the one who figured everything out and his / hers version of reality is the only version of reality.

that’s actually the most any child can realistically hope for - that is for parents to teach you what they know. most of time the parents will not teach you anything and simply demand that you accept all their arbitrary values that they pretend to believe in.

well why would anybody have kids unless they wanted to somehow use them ? would you buy anything you were not intending to use ?

that’s a GREAT point i actually missed it completely. i didn’t realize that it wasn’t just Old Dolio’s family that was fucked up but the others as well. of course as we both know killing the family has been the agenda for at least a century so the primary goals of this movie are to make family look bad and to promote lesbianism …

i hate it when they do that in movies but they kept it toned down here thankfully.

didn’t know that.

i felt the ending was too happy. i don’t like happy endings. for the most part there are no happy endings in real life. the ending in “Kajillionaire” was happier than what would realistically happen.

i identified with Old Dolio pretty strongly for a number of reasons - i felt like the movie is about me.

kinda surprised on the other hand you took it so close to heart.

we torture children to feel better about the torture we ourselves endured at the hands of our parents …

Not good enough…we can do better…and we know when we are slipping into those grooves. We don’t have to re-enact the tortures visited on us.

Granted…some wounds are deeper than others…and we have to want and seek healing, and not have kids to act as our own personal baptismal pool, filling them with the filth we have inside.

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whenever you confront your parents about their evil they always have the same response, namely that their parents were worse …

as if it’s some kind of a competition …

To play the sheltered and stunted Old Dolio, a younger actress would be more believable…especially with the bonding with the Puerto Rican girl.

all families are like that. all parents teach children what is important to parents.

Yes. But…you know as a parent that some stuff in your childhood should not be repeated with your children.

that’s actually the most any child can realistically hope for - that is for parents to teach you what they know. most of time the parents will not teach you anything and simply demand that you accept all their arbitrary values that they pretend to believe in.

No problems with that.

well why would anybody have kids unless they wanted to somehow use them ? would you buy anything you were not intending to use ?

There is use, training and elevation, and there is abuse, stunting and degradation.

i felt the ending was too happy. i don’t like happy endings.

For many people it would be a happy ending, but there is obviously more abuse awaiting Old Dolio. Old Dolio will simply transfer her clinginess to Melanie. Melanie will eventually tire of it and resent her. Plus, there will be more scams.

kinda surprised on the other hand you took it so close to heart.

The programming…it takes years to break it…

Or you are told you are being too sensitive or they stonewall.

In a different world, people would have to undergo a battery of psychological tests to determine if they should breed.

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running out to gym but thought i’d share a thought

it seems life stages are:

1 - get abused by parents ( age 0 to college )
2 - sex, drugs and rock and roll ( college )
3 - get abused by boss ( after college )
4 - get married, abuse your kids
5 - kids leave, abuse each other with the spouse
6 - get abused by nurses at the nursing home

only part of life not based on abuse ( 2 ) is the one society condemns …

conclusion: life is about abuse.

it wasn’t supposed to be believable. it was supposed to be exaggerated. the Puerto Rican girl is played by an actress 3 years older than one playing Old Dolio.

you forget that Hollywood is trying to eliminate classical female beauty from films … did you notice how every man in the film was treated as a joke sexually ?

if the movie didn’t have a single masculine man why should it have a single feminine female ? it’s the whole gender bending thing …

here is the director:

agree i just think this “some stuff” should simply be extended to everything including being born, but you are allowed to disagree with this :wink:

i can’t think of anything my parents did that i’m glad they did it … it’s all stuff that either they didn’t do or stuff i wish they didn’t do …

but i’m Autistic like that. normal people like you look at a problem and be like “how can we put makeup on this cancer to make it not look so bad” … this is how normies cope with the world … normies never ask questions like “why do we need this cancer ?” even Elon Musk spoke about this …

i’m sure you’re a good parent. i’m also sure i would have been a good parent. but not good enough that if i was my own child i would be like " thank you for giving me this wonderful gift of life " … after all people who have the best lives all end up killing themselves - pretty much half of Hollywood. were they all raped as children ? maybe. or maybe they just got addicted to fame and can’t stand fading into obscurity … Old Dolio spoke about this in the dark public toilet scene …

that’s subjective.

for example - is it your duty as a parent to pay for swimming lessons, math tutors and so on ?

is it your duty to make sure your kids have a meat based diet ?

if you don’t do these things you put your kids at a disadvantage compared to kids that did benefit from those things … but there is no end to these kinds of things - is there ?

where do you draw the line and say i have done enough for my kids ?

as far as Hollywood is concerned it’s a happy ending in the sense that it’s a lesbian ending. happy endings aren’t for the brightest people IMO and the morons will not analyze it to the extent you did.

but of course you’re right - it takes decades to undo this kind of psychological damage and by then Old Dolio will be a cat lady with grey hair. she missed the boat of life through no fault of her own.

when i complained about pops torturing me he said i was acting “like a girl”

nice idea in theory.

in practice everybody would fail the tests.

actually i probably would have passed 20+ years ago when i actually wanted to have kids, which is to say when i was a virgin and understood absolutely nothing except physics and math.

but any real adult that wants to have kids would fail or the tests are useless.

no offense LOL. you’re a real human being so you have vices. having children is your vice. nobody is perfect :wink:

of course i tend to think of myself as morally perfect but not everybody seems to agree LOL

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I want to find an argument to counteract this…
Deep breath…and

I can’t…you have to be some upper class hot shot to escape some of this abuse.

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The hard part of parenting is living up to your words, and not being a bastard when your kids call you out on it.
This is very very tough.

The question you asked is easy.
Talent shows up fast.
If it is there, you push them…
99.9% of the time it isn’t there or it is just enough to get them to where you are.

If they are talented, then that’s where your question comes in.

Yeah…I forgot. Lesbian director ends lesbian movie with lesbian kiss…yaaay!!

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i don’t see it that way at all.

lower class children are mostly locked out of access to upper class by their upbringing, not by lack of money or intelligence.

at the most basic level if you’re a Mexican kid whose parents spoke Spanish and whose friends spoke Spanish - what are the chances that you will do good on SAT English ? i had to take SAT after just 2 years in an English Speaking country and my SAT English was in 90 percentile ( beating 90% Americans ) … good enough, right ? except my SAT Math was in 98 percentile and my English would have been as well if i was brought up in an English Speaking household.

your SAT determines what school you go to. your school determines who you become friends with, perhaps who you marry. and so on.

swimming is another example … i never had swimming instruction in my life … but i was swimming team captain in high school and one of the best swimmers in my pool right now and actually i developed a new swimming stroke last week that might be the future of swimming … good enough, right ? well my friend went to Harvard on scholarship purely based on his swimming performance ( well that’s my assumption anyway, i didn’t know him that well, he was just the best swimmer in one of the pools i used to train in, maybe he was also good at other things ) … what if i had proper swimming instruction as a child ?

i used those two examples ( language and swimming ) because those are things where proficiency is mainly a function of getting an early start … i still have a Russian accent for example and i have some limitations to my swimming as well compared to those who got proper swimming lessons as kids.

you’re probably thinking - so what if my kids aren’t great swimmers - who cares ? except no woman can resist a man who can swim proper butterfly … you know, the one which looks like you’re actually flying. as soon as they see it you’re a god in their mind. i been practicing butterfly for 25 years … but i should have already been an expert at 15 when i first tried it.

being a good swimmer automatically makes you accepted by middle class because children from poor families are almost never good swimmers as their parents can’t afford swimming lessons.

there have to be other things like that i’m just bringing up the ones that are personal for me.

whenever i’m in the pool ( which is almost every day ) they usually have lessons for kids and my thought is always the same - why didn’t i get them ? and how much better i could have been …

when i get in the pool half the guys leave because they are embarrassed that women will be comparing them to me … that’s better than nothing but who wouldn’t want more ?

one day at the pool they were evaluating a group of kids who were doing the test for lifeguard ( my pool offers this certification ) and the very first test was simply swimming. immediately two kids ( a boy and a girl ) were eliminated from this part of the testing because they instantly passed while the other kids continued to struggle to prove that they are good enough swimmers. the two kids that passed were the ones that caught my eye before they got in the water - it was the best looking girl and the tallest, most athletic boy. we’re not talking about children here, you have to be of a certain minimum age to work as a LifeGuard, so it wasn’t that other kids were younger - they were simply inferior.

i then started thinking … was it a coincidence that the most attractive girl was also the best swimmer ? the answer is no. she was most attractive because she came from the best family and she was the best swimmer for the same reason. same for the boy. they didn’t know each other but they started talking because they had nothing else to do while the short fat kids were struggling to pass the test …

had there been a short Mexican with these two white kids they would have no choice but to talk to him as well if he had also passed like them … he then would have taken a step up on the socioeconomic ladder … but he wasn’t there … because his parents never paid for swimming lessons for him …

if your kids are on the swimming team all their friends are automatically white and Asian … on the other hand if your daughter is a cheerleader that’s a guarantee she will be gang raped by black sportsball players …

if i had kids - would i be able to give them the start in life those two good looking white kids got ? i don’t know and i don’t care because i’m not going to have kids because if i did i would have to dedicate my life entirely to giving them the best start possible only to watch them die from a heroin overdose 20 years later next to a note saying " i wish was never born " …

or worse - having them grow up like me :slight_smile:


of course you can say it’s not your job to ensure success for your kids - it’s THEIR job … and that’s fair enough but then what exactly do they owe you in return for nothing ? and if they don’t owe you anything - what was the point of having them ?

they way i see it having kids only makes sense if BOTH of the following conditions are met:

1 - they succeed in life
2 - they feel they owe it to you

it seems to me that unless you’re rich it would be a lot of hard work and sacrifice … and that’s not even the biggest problem. the biggest problem is simply losing your freedom. people to me are mostly like some kind of a noise in my head - i just do my best to tune them out. i realize this is Autism and some people actually like noise. my pops can’t sleep unless the TV is on for example.

but i love silence. to even hear footsteps in another room is already annoying for me. i wear earplugs, earmuffs or noise canceling headphones ( with nothing playing ) whenever possible. silence and solitude are the ultimate luxury as far as i am concerned.

one of the worst things about living in Brooklyn was the building elevator, or rather the fact that it had to be shared with other people. also the laundromat in the basement, for the same reason.

granted when i was in love it was the opposite - i wanted to be with the girl i was in love with - i’m glad i experienced that but i’m not doing it again though. i may be wrong but it seems that even in the best case scenario approaching a fairy tale, love ( whether for a woman or for one’s children ) is temporary, which means after a while all these people ( wife, children ) will simply become noise for me like everybody else except i will have some kind of responsibility to stay around this noise, which for me is completely unthinkable to be honest LOL

This would be ideal. But for success, they have to have the talent.
You had the talent to enter the upper echelons if you had been given a sufficient base. But you are not the norm. You aren’t. Most lack the talent and some lack the dedication.

it seems to me that unless you’re rich it would be a lot of hard work and sacrifice … and that’s not even the biggest problem. the biggest problem is simply losing your freedom.

Yes. You do feel trapped at times…money helps a lot…without it…you have champagne taste on a beer budget.

The noise issue is real. I need quiet time to recharge and kids are demanding…but after a time t you are invested…there is a mix of duty and love you have for them…I’m going to die one day so I deposit what I can in them while I am able.

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i’m going to drop the subject for now because nobody wants to have their life questioned - that’s why you don’t know anything about me LOL

it reminds me how when i was younger and i was on dating sites and i would see a girl with tattoos and i would tell her that she shouldn’t get tattoos and they would always be like " fuck you ! you can’t tell me how to live ! "

at first i told myself that they are mentally ill for lashing out like rabid dogs at somebody who likes them and is concerned for them … but then i realized that it’s not like they can remove those tattoos so they have no choice but to pretend like it was a good idea to get them …

you definitely took it better than those girls but i’m going to lay off your case for now because as Robert Greene teaches just because somebody seems to be slow to take offense doesn’t mean it’s a wise idea to continue to abuse them …

in fact quite possibly people who instantly lash out at you ( like a typical 60 IQ Negro ) are the most harmless …

the most dangerous people are ones like my father who look for ways to become an inextricable part of your life just to ruin it …

this is why all the action movies are a joke meant for little children who love their mommy and daddy and who think that will to power is evil …

will to power is not evil - it is noble. there is no Evil in film. nobody dares to put real evil on the screen.

so far “Antichrist” ( 2009 ) by Lars Von Trier came the closest to illuminating real evil in this world … and it only offered glimpses of it …

sometimes i wonder if i made a movie about my life - would anybody have the stomach for it ? it would make everything else look like disneyland. most likely it would have to be rated R for “Russian Audiences Only” … any Americans who saw it would gouge out their own eyes and slit their wrists.


a good movie should simply be like real life but with all the boring shit tossed out and the interesting things condensed and amplified

alternatively it can be about past or future or some alternative culture or reality / utopia / dystopia

but all this Marvel crap that’s all over the theaters is none of that - it’s just SHIT

Batman vs Superman …

Alien vs Predator …

Godzilla vs Kong …


i get it … it’s made for kids … but the problem is that basically all other moves are made for kids too …

or for Seniors …

virtually no movies made for adults with living brain cells …

Lars Von Trier is one of the few directors who makes movies that people under the age of 20 or so would simply not understand … in fact i was forced to watch one of his movies in college and didn’t understand it …

if a 12 year old can understand a movie why should a 40 year old like me watch it ?

a 12 year old would be able to understand virtually all American movies except ones for / about Seniors …

the situation seems better with foreign films …

American films are basically about luring children in with action and then indoctrinating them into Jewish moral norms about Holocaust, Islamic Terrorists, Lesbians and so on …