the two main tools of a Sadist are “Humor” and Playing Dumb.
Sadists are all around us - our Teachers, Parents, Co-Workers, Bosses - the Sadist is a fairly common variety of filth.
They are always looking for a way to hurt you but unlike the Sadists in Hollywood movies they rarely if ever resort to naked aggression … instead they rely on Playing dumb and Humor.
Humor is a socially acceptable way of insulting people. After you insult somebody using humor if they protest you then accuse them of not having a sense of humor, which is in itself an insult. This makes humor one of Sadist’s favorite tools, but of course it requires having some intelligence to use.
Playing dumb doesn’t require intelligence. As a sadist you simply observe stupid people and how they get everybody in trouble with their stupidity and then you simply copy their “techniques” to hurt those around you.
Passive Aggression is a more subtle variation of Playing Dumb. This is where you simply underperform on purpose when people need you to perform the most.
so how do you deal with Sadism then ? it’s actually really simple - do not analyze their actions to try to understand their motivations. their motivations do not matter - only the outcome of their actions matters. look for patterns. do they make people around them happy ? do people who rely on them for help get the help they need ? or do they make those around them miserable and never seem to come through with the help they promised ?
it really doesn’t matter whether a person is genuinely stupid and incompetent or is a passive aggressive sadist or some other variety of mentally ill piece of shit. just don’t deal with them.
the one difference between a sadist and a genuine moron is that it will be harder to get rid of a sadist. morons don’t generally expect that you will be trying to get rid of them so they don’t have any special plans on preventing you from accomplishing that … sadists are different.
sadists anticipate that you will try to get rid of them and dedicate their entire life to making it impossible. here the key is to recognize that if getting rid of a piece of shit is extra hard that means it is more likely they are a sadist or some other type of parasite and in that case it is IMPERATIVE to get rid of them.
the other way you can tell you’re dealing with a sadist is because they use both passive aggression / playing dumb AND humor as means of hurting you. typically a genuinely dumb person would not be able to consistently make jokes at your expense. and a person with a sense of humor would typically not be so obtuse as to constantly fail at everything they are doing.
when a person is at the same time constantly succeeding with jokes at your expense while also constantly failing at everything else they do for you ( but not for themselves ) that’s how you know you’re dealing either with a sadist or a hater.
the difference between sadist and hater is that haterism is focused on a particular subject ( such as you ) whereas sadism has no focus - a sadist will torture children, animals, even inanimate objects … a hater will only torture you and others they envy.
this makes haters harder to deal with because it is harder to demonstrate their sickness to others. best you can do is extricate yourself from their presence.
to summarize there may be different reasons why people hurt you or fail you - the key is to pay attention to patterns and recognize that such patterns are impossible to change. if you see a negative pattern associated with a person - do NOT try to talk to them about it ! everything you tell them they will use against you. keep it to yourself. be prepared for the worst and do not hope for the best.