MONEY 
is the answer 
do you still see girls ? (edit: dont mean to hijack the thread) Edit2: constant masturbation kinda relieves you of that need?
no girls. i would have to live a completely different life and be a completely different person to see girls. girls cannot be integrated into my life and changing is too much work.
as for masturbation relieving the need for girls - that would depend on the person IMO.
i don’t miss having a life, rather i miss the OPTION to have a life. i have let myself go to the point where i couldn’t just turn around and decide to have a normal life tomorrow - i have already gotten used to this sort of existence because i been doing it for the past 15 years or so.
and if i could live this way 15 years ago when i still had a strong sex drive i am certainly not going back when my sex drive is much weaker now. so i regret kind of putting myself into this trap where i can’t honestly tell myself i could live some other way if i wanted to.
but i don’t really miss girls or friends or anything like that.
i can always fill the boredom with shitposting or video games.
i just wish i wasn’t continuing to corner myself to where i have fewer and fewer options.
The biggest shocking thing for me Ive heard about your last decade is that youve started playing video games because unlike me and others you werent into it before… anyway as a last HOORAAH I think you owe it to yourself to seek the other side one more time before turning into old man… But done in a more sane way? not 20 yr old self way…Also what are your thoughts about ending millions of years of evolution with you ?
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i consider myself Old now.
i actually think i started getting old at 27, in California.
i was surprised to find out Mark Twain has said “men die at 27, we just bury them at 72” … i think that was nail on the head for me personally, but NOT EVERY MAN dies at 27.
i think Elon Musk is still alive for example. Trump is still alive.
it isn’t about age, or even health … i mean Biden’s health isn’t great but he is still alive as well.
but for me, i think i died at 27 just as Mark Twain said.
well then my above statement stands true even more… You owe it to yourself to do the last hoorrah… if you are truly dead, which is something youve assigned to yourself (and IM not discounting you taking it lightly like some dummy would, you assess reality soberly given your intellect) however still perhaps its a blind spot and a mistake why not explore the other side one last time ?
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also if this is too personal we can discuss privately
How do you reconcile understanding everything thats happening without even giving an attempt at some type of even minuscule reconciliation? you literally is an example of death of western civilization and yet you accept it no problem Edit: As in you were well equipped to deal w the current dynamics of the world and yet you just write it off at 28… not even Jesus 33
at some point i realized that my beliefs on right and wrong, good and evil come from people who are both evil ( my father ) and liars ( my mother )
i then looked at nature and saw that it’s all about suffering, disease and death
yes there are some examples of animals taking care of each other but but it is a drop in the bucket
what i was supposed to do is focus on that drop of good and tune everything else out … but i chose to look at the big picture instead.
and came to the conclusion that good is just a fantasy, a fairy tale we tell children. a lie used to control society just like religion. mainly used by older people in power to enslave younger people.
only instinct is true. morality is false.
it makes no sense to try to fix the world because our instinct tells us nothing about how the world should be. and morality, although it has a lot to say, is false and not to be trusted.
i also find it interesting what Harari said, namely that ( paraphrasing ) " nothing is against nature, if something was against nature it couldn’t be, if something is then it is not against nature " …
he was specifically talking about homosexuality. that if it is “against nature” then why does homosexuality exist in nature ? even among animals ?
but it is even more interesting when applied more generally. for example - is sadism against nature ? if yes, then why does it exist ?
reality is we all have a sadistic streak. my father’s sadism is simply uncalibrated - out of control. but sadism itself is natural.
can’t really put it any better than the quote above.
young people are keen on changing the world. nothing wrong with that but few of them make a credible effort of understanding what they are trying to change or why.
FINE, but thats just part of the equation ? Everyone is dealt some sort of version of that card? is the whole point to persevere despite all the nonsense being dealt? So whats your answer you were literally brought to life, youve realized a few things and just said fuck, and then wait out the rest of the game on one knee until you keel over?
At the end of the day Soros or Rothschild still was born a man ? Why not make best of it instead of just give in at the mere realization of how fucked everything is? Edit: I think a decade ago this is why we stopped talking because I was angry with you not seeing that and you were angry with me thinking I didnt understand what you see. Edit: as in I didnt believe realization of futility is the answer.
if you feel the will to power then you should act on it - fuck the haters
but also i can’t act on it if i don’t feel it
we support your endeavors from a distance !
Options do seem to narrow as you get older and I think it’s not uncommon to get into a rut or trapped feeling as you have done these past years. I’ve had similar feelings from time to time. On the other hand you worked as an engineer in the past and if you were motivated you could probably return to that someday. Whether that’s what you want only you can decide of course. I guess what I’m saying is that the feeling of no options may be an illusion, which you could break, but you don’t want to or aren’t ready yet.
I have had some things come up IRL, and that’s the main reason I’m not as online these days. This is also happening at a time when the online world is changing, because I see things moving more toward decentralized (like NOSTR) and private spaces (like this place) in coming years and away from Big Tech which has been made unusable. So I’m also taking a “wait and see” approach.
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Im just saying life is a lot better when you’re a bit tipsy. A little bit of alcohol goes a long way. I’m not saying you should get drunk.
have you tried drugs ?
what makes alcohol so addictive is on alcohol you can approach women that without alcohol you never would. but take women out of the equation and it’s a very mediocre drug.
i suppose every drug is best in a certain setting. there is no drug ( except maybe fentanyl ) that works no matter where you are and what you’re doing.
to me alcohol is all about socializing, especially with hot women.
but there is a drug for basically every other activity as well.
I usually drink alcohol alone. It makes me feel better. Looser and more relaxed. It really takes the edge off if you are stressed.
I’m not an alcoholic though. I have have a beer or glass of wine or whatever and leave it at that. It’s not about getting drunk or chasing a high. Too much alcohol makes me feel like crap.
The problem a lot of people have with alcohol is that they treat it like a party drug and they think they have to go on a binge every time they drink it. That’s not the case at all. Craft beer, fine wine, and fine spirits are all alcoholic beverages, but people drink them in moderation to enjoy them and to enjoy themselves. Casual drinking like this reallt enhances life in my opinion.
alcoholism would certainly explain your erratic posting behavior.
Like I said, I’m not an alcoholic.
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