one time when i was 17 i drowned and was resuscitated …
while i was dead i had this extremely unpleasant realization that i was dead, able to reflect on my life, but not able to actually live …
well this same sensation is now starting to take over again …
except instead of feeling disconnected from my physical body due to being dead i feel disconnected from the world due to everybody in it being retarded …
i can reflect on the world but i can’t do anything to change it. i see stupidity everywhere but i can’t do anything about it.
the determinism of the universe feels more oppressive every single day and the illusion of free will is fading, becoming exposed for what it is - an illusion …
Similar experience…of drowning.
Nearly died at 8…no deep thoughts…
Just thought I would die and leave no kids, nothing behind…
The pain was incredible…like Schwarzenegger inside my chest trying to break out. Couldn’t struggle anymore, wriggled, spasmed, sank to the bottom, taking in water.
The water was so clear. I saw a cloud pass over the sun and then the pain stopped and I started to feel…good.
Then I said , “this is it”.
As for free will, the older I get the fewer choices I have.
And more of the choices aren’t real…there are just options…write with a pen or pencil.
And even the choices I made earlier in life…could I have really chosen any differently?
Your post here reminds me of the thread on which we spoke about the white room torture.
Well nowadays its more of a learned helplessness unfortunately…essentially until it reaches somekind of critical mass a la circa 1930s Germany, nothing will change. I also am of an opinion that the elites wont be repeating mistake of the past and will ensure not allow for masses to get to that point … will feed them McDs 1$ menu and plenty of dumb entertainment while mood altering drugs are freely available as well.
i didn’t say i was having deep thoughts. it was the same as what you said - just realizing that my life is over, i have accomplished precisely nothing, and there is nothing i can do to fix anything.
i remember also thinking about my dead sister but not in a fairy tale kind of way where we meet in heaven but rather the inescapable parallel of how her life was wasted and now it happened to me - how there is nothing i can or could have done for her and there is nothing i can do for myself or anybody.
how everything was just one unbelievably horrible mistake basically.
it is quite possible that Zionists wanted Hitler to rise to power
they then declared war on Germany and won
and used the exaggerated atrocities of the war to get United Nations to approve the Israel project
which has been underway but was lacking recognition
WW2 gave Israel the boost it needed
the percentage of WW2 casualties that were Jews was about the same as the percentage of Jews in United States … of course they are the only ones who are remembered, just like the opinion of the Jews in America today is the only one that matters …
so i am not sure they even made a mistake the last time …
let alone that they will make a mistake “again” …
and regardless of whether WW2 was a mistake or not Jews came out of it stronger than ever - both in Israel, Europe, America … and Soviet Union.
this idea that everything will collapse and things will magically get better after that … is a masturbatory fantasy.
this is what incels on GAB and NOSTR believe …
this is why they always talk about they will do to Jews and Pedophiles “after we win” …
and their “winning strategy” is to do nothing and wait for things to “collapse” after which they will somehow be magically put in power … for some unknown reason …
it’s just a cope. it’s what allows them to have fantasies of torturing Jews and Pedophiles and feel good about these fantasies while actually becoming more and more powerless …
they keep repeating how it’s good that things are getting worse because it will make people wake up LOL … it doesn’t work like that
frogs don’t “wake up” when slowly boiled.
and when Soviet Union’s Jewish government collapsed Jewish Oligarchs came to power … both in Russia and Ukraine … and are now fighting each other with help from the Jews in America.
and if that wasn’t enough Mexico ( which is 75% catholic ) is close to electing their first Jewish president …
in regards soviet union, if Putin was truly an indepedent man, there would have been no lockdowns and other covid idiocy if he wasnt playing the same ball as the rest of the countries. A normal indepdent persons response would have been to do the opposite and expose the lies and thus gain credibility and power.
yeah Putin played along with 911 and he played along with Covid
but then so did almost every other nation
not one nation called out 911 as being an inside job
only Sweden didn’t go big brother on lockdowns among the 1st world
and a few African leaders apparently refused the vax and have all mysteriously died …
the only thing “based” that Putin has done is ban homosexual propaganda in schools … well and give some support to Assad.
but he’s still pro-Jewish, pro-Multicultural, and he literally assassinates or imprisons anybody who opposes him whether it is journalists, politicians, oligarchs or prigozhin.
as well he genocides any territory that doesn’t want to be part or Russia whether it is Chechnya, Georgia or Ukraine …
Putin is a “good guy” only in the minds of American Boomertarians who can’t grasp the fact that the enemy of my enemy isn’t always a good guy …
I mean Mexican Drug Lords are all enemies of each other - does that make them good guys ?
whenver i see retards refer to Putin as “Vlad” i block them instantly. no time for retards. they think they are on fist name basis with Putin but he would slip poison into their meal without a second thought the second they became inconvenient to him.
