Fuck Porsche ! ( Scotty Kilmer was Right )

re-followed Scotty Kilmer on YouTube …

i originally unfollowed after he suggested a ( sponsored ) battery-powered bluetooth speaker in a cupholder was the smart alternative to fixing a broken audio in a car … as you may imagine my inner audiophile was outraged …

but one thing Scotty said stuck with me, namely he said that the absolute all time worst car for a mechanic to work on was mid-engined Porsche ( basically Boxer / Cayman )

i could see how it would be a problem … i could even see how a 911 could pose a problem … but what i didn’t realize is that Panamera was only slightly better !

TIL ( today i learned ) that to replace the air filter in a Panamera you have to remove the entire front fascia of the car !

here is the procedure to remove it:

WOW …

and the guy in the video didn’t even change the air filter. he just removed the front fascia and then put it back. folks on Rennlist are saying the actual procedure ( including air filter replacement ) takes about 2 - 3 hours. most surgeries take less time than this !

to be fair this isn’t incompetence as much as it is extravagance … it means that to own a Porsche you have to either be a mechanic yourself or have A LOT of money set aside for maintenance beyond the upfront costs …

and indeed savagegeese on YouTube warned about this and also i saw DATA showing maintenance on Porsches costs DOUBLE compared to MERCEDES.

and now i see why.

OK maybe the title of this thread was overly dramatic and if you are OK with paying half a thousand dollars to replace the air filter which is something you could do yourself in under 5 minutes with basically any other car then Porsche is for you.

air filters should be replaced EVERY YEAR.

so whoever designed the Panamera thought you should remove the front fascia of the car EVERY YEAR just to do basic service on the car.

WOW

what can i say - if you can afford to pay for that kind of bullshit more power to you but i finally understand why everybody was saying ( and they were right ) NOT to get a Porsche. you can buy one used for about the same price as a new Volvo but holy fuck are you going to be RAPED TO DEATH on the service costs !

again, this doesn’t mean Porsche engineers were stupid.

it simply means that Porsches ( at least the good ones like 718, 911 and Panamera ) are simply not meant to be practical. they are meant to by luxury toys.

a Porsche is meant to be your mistress, not your wife. this is why all the Panameras on sale have such low mileage.

i thought but it has 4 doors and a boot ! so it is meant to be practical !

WRONG ! ! !

it’s about as practical as a 911 just with more space.

now i understand why Panamera drivers always act like they’re better than everybody. i had no idea how expensive it is to actually own one. when i saw that Porsche charges $40,000 to replace the hybrid battery was my first clue but i tried to reason that it can be done cheaper in a 3rd party shop. now this air filter. fuck that shit.

you need to be making serious money to drive these, or, as i said, you have to be a mechanic yourself and have a lift in your garage.

a Porsche is basically like a Harley Davidson - it’s a very expensive toy.

they are both designed for people who either love wrenching or are loaded with cash.

the design of either Harleys or Porsches CAN NOT be logically justified.

it can ONLY be justified when you realize making things more expensive was the actual goal.

it is made impractical on purpose to keep it cool.

i used to think - what is the point of having an Audi A7 and Porsche Panamera made by the same company ?

well they are not nearly as similar as they look.

idiot car reviewers drag race them against each other to see which is “best” but they in fact have the same engine under the hood. LITERALLY the same engine. that isn’t the difference.

but the cars are not just completely different - they aren’t even related mechanically beyond having the same engine.

the starting price for Panamera is about 50% higher than for Audi which i used to think was insane, but actually now i see it is FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION.

VW is trying to SAVE YOU from buying a Porsche so you don’t go bankrupt trying to service it !

and it isn’t just the air filter. the high voltage battery is double stacked in the Porsche, but single level in Audi, so it would cost more to remanufacture the Porsche battery even though it uses the same cells. the fuel tank in the Porsche is folded up in a way that will, again, probably require disassembling half the car to replace. and logically we can assume that the trend continues elsewhere in the car.

my favorite part is how you will never learn any of this information by watching or reading car reviews.

i have watched many Panamera vs Audi RS7 videos and NOT ONE of them mentioned any of this.

Porsche simply has a philosophy that prioritizes fun over sensibility, which is why Car Reviewers love it.

Audi prioritizes Sensibility over Fun which is why it loses all competitions done by Car Reviewers.

Volvo also always loses all such competitions because it prioritizes Safety.

basically the more you watch and read car reviews the stupider your car buying choices are going to be.

Android Auto came to S class i 2017 but only came to Panamera in 2022

FIVE YEARS LATER

what exactly do you get with the Panamera for all the $$$ you pay ?

OK so it performs better fine. but it isn’t a practical car.

4 doors and a large boot does not equal practicality.

not a serious car. just a 4 door 911.

not surprisingly spark plug change is as bad as the air filter

this whole car is designed to make service as expensive as possible

Porsche is basically the Harley Davidson of Automobiles

they maintain exclusivity through engineered pain

People who buy Porsches never see them past 2-3 year mark while its on warranty and free to service and then they just get a new one so all the difficult service that follows after is irrelevant to them. It is poor people who want to look rich that buy those cars afterwards that are stuck w stupid designs and difficulties of service.

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yes all the Panameras i see on sale have like 15,000-25,000 miles on them versus Toyotas on sale that have like 100,000-150,000 miles and actually i found out the air filter on Panamera is so huge it only needs to be replaced at 80,000 miles so none of the 1st owners ever have to replace it even once …

so i agree there, but my point is that it’s actually INTENTIONALLY difficult to service to keep the poors out of Porsches that way women automatically get wet when you drive one because they know it means you’re rich …

Porsche could have designed their cars the same as Lexus but they don’t want Niggers on welfare driving 20 year old Porsches like they drive 20 year old Lexus cars because nobody is getting wet if you pull up to a club in a Lexus … ( unless it’s LC500 because that car is just hot )

but with Porsche it doesn’t matter which model you drive - the badge itself already says you deserve to get pussy. this is only possible by deliberately keeping these cars out of reach of the poors.

Tesla will never be like this because they are chasing sales volumes. Tesla will never be cool again because you get picked up in a Tesla when you order an Uber. Cybertruck is an exception as i doubt anybody Ubers in a Cybertruck. Nobody Ubers in S or X either but those don’t look different enough from 3 and Y.

The brand “Tesla” has been destroyed. Cybertruck is arguably its own brand just like Corvette is arguably a separate brand from Chevrolet, Hummer a different brand from GMC and Mustang a different brand from Ford etc.